Bye

Well, now I have visited simultaneously Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Chernobil, and Fukushima. In fact, the amount of radiation I have received was probably larger than what people received from all these places combined - but, hopefully, it was more localized - both in time and in space.

I had to sign a whole heap of documents first. Since I read too much, I read them all. An interesting tidbit - one of them contained a section titled "Purpose of the treatment". Its contents said "To prolong the life of the patient". Not to cure the cancer. Just to postpone the death from it. I am starting to think that curing the cancer, especially in my advanced stage, is impossible. All those lucky guys who are bragging that they have "beaten cancer" haven't really done so. They've just postponed it until it eventually returns or they die of something else. As the saying goes, "if you get cancer, you die of cancer - unless you have a stroke of luck and get run over by a bus".

The irradiating was done by the same machine that did the CAT scan the last time. Even the operator was the same. Only, this time the tunnel-like machine split into parts and they started rotating around my body, often stopping for long pauses. I couldn't figure out which part contained the radiation emitter. The procedure took longer than the CAT scan - but not much longer, probably around 15 minutes. Despite the doctor's warnings, there was no pain whatsoever. Maybe it will come later. It probably depends on what exactly has been destroyed by the radiation.

After the procedure, I was sent to the 6^th floor for two blood tests. Completely unnecessary, IMHO, because these same two blood tests are included among the 9 blood tests I get each month before getting the next dose of pills. That is, I've already got these 2 tests two weeks ago and will get them again in two weeks. It is extremely unlikely that the results have changed (or will change) substantially in 2 weeks. But those are the rules, so what do I know.

The blood sample was taken by a bored nurse who was munching one some bun. Normally, after such a procedure, you have to keep pressing the place where the needle had pricked your skin for about 5 minutes - or you get a large violet spot under your skin, caused by spilled blood there. But the nurse just slapped some adhesive dressing, told me that it should be enough, and that I must leave. So I did. Guess what - now I have a large violet spot under my skin.

The next radiation procedure will be in about a month. It will consist of 6 sessions instead of 3, and will be aimed at one of the remaining two tumors. But something is bothering me and despite that I asked the radiologist twice, I never got an clear answer: how would we know whether the radiotherapy was effective?

OK, we started with the rib, because the tumor there was still active and visible on the PET scan, so treating it was more urgent. Presumably, a few months from now, we'll do another scan and if the tumor is no longer visible, it would mean that the radiation has destroyed it. But what about the other two tumors? They are not visible by scanner anyway, because the hormonal therapy keeps them under control. My PSA is already within the normal range. If, a few months from now, the tumors are still not visible and the PSA is still normal, how would we know what is the reason for it? Is it because the radiotherapy has destroyed the tumors - or is it because nothing has changed and things are exactly as they are now? I'd have to ask the oncologist...

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to bed. I'm tired. I'm so tired...